So here’s the deal, every month Hannah and I are going to do a collaborative post (horrendous dissertation deadlines permitting). Hot topic this time? Girl crushes.
CHARLOTTE: Girl crushes have become a modern phenomenon and we all know who’s responsible…
That song changed a lot of things for girls worldwide, mainly their openness to admit finding female celebrities attractive beyond the typical ‘I just admire her/want to be her’ excuse.
HANNAH: Ah Katy Perry. We've all sung I Kissed A Girl at the top of our voices, with a drink in hand, whilst trying to kiss our nearest girl- friend ( notice how I separate the two...) haven't we? Well we have. Well I have then... but I know I'm not alone! Katy Perry definitely gave girls permission to appreciate the female form! My only criticism of the woman is she's married to Russell Brand - what.a.bitch. But it makes sense because she is gorgeous isn't she? Although not so much when Brandy leaked a picture of her make-up less face on twitter...moving on...
CHARLOTTE: All of the above clearly only applies to celebrities; if your ‘girl crushes’ are on mates you know in life, you may aswell admit you’re on a train to bi-curious town with a one-way ticket. There’s nothing wrong with that, as me and Hannah would both agree, but that’s another story for another post…
So here is a little timeline we’ve put together of how girl crushes have changed over the past decade and why… We’re not just going to look at acceptable crushes though, we’re also going to analyse the ones that are a little bit dodge. There may be people out there doing blogs on climate change and gender equality, but here at TGOB we like to confront the serious issues in society. Let’s crack on.
JENNIFER ANISTON AND ANGELINA JOLIE ‘The Originals’ (2000 – 2008)
CHARLOTTE: I appreciate that many of you reading this will only have been about 10 years old in the year 2000, and completely oblivious to the idea of a girl crush, BUT there’s no denying Jen and Ange were the original women who stole our hearts.
At the time, Jennifer Aniston was playing Rachel Green in Friends (is it only me who still watches the repeats on E4 while I’m eating my tea, despite having seen every episode about a thousand times?) and Angelina Jolie had taken leading role in Tomb Raider. It was girl-next-door versus femme fatale, and it really was hard for us to decide who we were most loyal to. Coincidentally, Brad Pitt thinking exactly the same thoughts is what caused such a drama in 2005.
HANNAH: I too watch Friends episodes on repeat whilst trying to structure my dissertation/life..but anyway! Jen and Ange really are the originals ( well in terms of our lifetime anyway) and both, in my opinion, equally amazing. They each go for completely different looks, so it is down to personal opinion, and maybe something as superficial as hair colour preference! I do have a loyal streak though: Jen will always remain dear to my heart as I was very much 'Team Aniston' and secretly still want her to steal Brad back...But fair play to him really - Jolie is an undeniable stunner, it must have been a 'mare deciding between the two! Then again, perhaps it was a dream come true for him depending on how you look at it...
CHERYL COLE ‘The One Who Properly Started It All Off’ – (2008 – 2010)
CHARLOTTE: Jen and Ange aside, ‘girl crushes’ weren’t really properly acknowledged until the mid-noughties. Someone added fuel to the fire, and it was most definitely Cheryl Cole. The combination of her tragic break up with Ashley Cole (don’t even get me started, we’ll be here all day) and her debut as a judge on The X Factor made her the ultimate girl crush.
HANNAH: This reminds me of the days when us two used to go to Girls Aloud concerts (yes, we were that cool, we even had tour t-shirts. Ahem) I have had to physically restrain Charlotte from jumping on stage at various points, but again, that's another story entirely... Cheryl Cole is a national treasure and with that smile cough*veneers*cough she melts hearts not just in the UK, but right the way round the world! If you don't fancy her even a little bit then you have a heart of stone...
CHARLOTTE: Plus, look at the girl’s HAIR. Incredible…
HANNAH: I agree, that hair (aside from her being commissioned by L'oreal and therefore having access to some of the world's greatest hair experts) is absolutely enviable!
CHARLOTTE: Not just hair experts, but hair extensions us mere mortals could never dream of affording. Hair that's admirable but completely unattainable. Brilliant. Ultimately though, if I had to bet who the majority of the female population would choose to be trapped in a lift with (if they had to pick another woman. And they were forced. Look, don’t question the rules of the game) I would put everything I have on Cheryl Cole. Quite literally.
HANNAH: Annoyingly I have to agree there.She does irritate me somewhat, mainly due to her face being plastered on every billboard, magazine and TV screen in the WORLD. But there must be a reason for this. Even though I don't like to add to the army of Cheryl fans out there, she is definitely in the top 10 girl crushes of all time! I don't think she's that pretty though........ OK, who am I kidding, she's perfect, I'm jealous.
CHARLOTTE: What’s quite amazing is we all seem to have forgotten what she used to look like 10 years ago. It’s like we’ve been brainwashed.
Cheryl retained her status, not only as the nation’s sweetheart, but the nation’s number one girl crush until quite recently. Then a sudden, unprecedented, but very real, change of loyalty took place. To this woman…
Cheryl retained her status, not only as the nation’s sweetheart, but the nation’s number one girl crush until quite recently. Then a sudden, unprecedented, but very real, change of loyalty took place. To this woman…
RIHANNA (2010 – ROUGHLY TWO MONTHS AGO):
CHARLOTTE: As far as I can gather, it was this performance on X Factor that did it…
I know for a fact Hannah will want to say more than me on this topic!
HANNAH: Well. What's her name? (Oh I do apologise, there's just no need for my grossly cheesy jokes are there?) Yes that's it Rihanna. Ever since she stomped on to the scene in her (very tame by today's standards) video for Pon de Replay, she has taken the world by storm! Arguably Umbrella was her first 'hot' video and since then they've just got better and better! S&M sent youtube into meltdown as the website had to ban the outrageously sexy singer's risqué promo video.
CHARLOTTE: They've censored words in that song on Radio 1 too. 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but [blank] and [blank] excite me'. It makes no sense. I don't like it.
HANNAH: However, Charlotte is right, it was that x-factor video that really sealed the deal! I for one am definitely not over that video, especially when she takes that zebra print dress off...I know I speak for everyone when I say she clearly has the best legs in pop!
CHARLOTTE: They've censored words in that song on Radio 1 too. 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but [blank] and [blank] excite me'. It makes no sense. I don't like it.
HANNAH: However, Charlotte is right, it was that x-factor video that really sealed the deal! I for one am definitely not over that video, especially when she takes that zebra print dress off...I know I speak for everyone when I say she clearly has the best legs in pop!
JESSIE J (ABOUT TWO MONTHS AGO – PRESENT)
CHARLOTTE: Again, I’m not entirely sure when this properly formed, but according to what you lot are writing on Facebook and Twitter, Jessie J is definitely the girl crush of the moment. The Essex girl’s fame rocketed when she released ‘Do It Like A Dude’ in January and now, it seems, everyone (especially girls) can’t get enough of her. Just as an added comment on said song, by forcing the idea of breaking down gender stereotypes into the public consciousness, 'Do It Like A Dude' has an element of importance that goes beyond it just being a good song to dance to when you're on the lash. Ciara kind of did it with ‘Like A Boy’, but it was a bit of a half-arsed attempt.
Also, here’s a little nugget of gossip for you that I bet you didn’t know before now. See this backing dancer?
That’s Jessie J’s ex-girlfriend. So just to confuse this idea of girl crushes even further, it’s a big possibility Jessie J would have a girl crush on you as well. Can I just say, I have no idea what Jessie J’s official sexuality is – it depends what other newspaper/magazine/blog you read, they’ll all give you completely different answers. But it’s 2011 right, who cares anymore?
HANNAH: Damn right it's 2011! I would just like to say that I had no idea that Jessie J had had a girlfriend, so now I have that knowledge I am even more intrigued by her than before! She's hot in a bit of a Catherine-Zeta-in-Chicago type way with that sleek black bob. That added to the mystery of her sexuality makes her all the more attractive! With the black lipstick, leotards in her videos, and a voice to send shivers down your spine, I don't think there's a straight girl in the country who could deny they don't have even the teeniest crush on our latest celebrity obsession! I really wanted to be harsh on Jessie J aswell as she undermines the 'fabulously fake-tanned and groomed to perfection' stereotype of your typical Essex girl! However, after watching 'Do It Like A Dude' on repeat, she may well be at the top of my girl crush list right now!
THE ‘CONSTANTS’ (Who always have been, and always will be, girl crushes - mainly because of jealousy)
CHARLOTTE: It seems to me that girl crushes rely on a pack mentality. Picture the scene: one girl has a magazine that they show to their girlfriends over lunch, comments such as ‘Oh My God, she looks amazing’ are chucked about all over the shop, and it becomes a kind of social event. However, a few of you will understand what I mean when I say you can get caught out. For instance, here’s a real-life conversation I was involved in a couple of years ago:
Me: Every girl has their one woman they would have a one night stand with if they HAD to… who’s yours?
Friend #1: Cheryl Cole
Friend #2: Beyonce
Friend #3: Megan Fox
Friend #4: Kate Moss… Because she looks like she’d be dirty…
Spot the odd one out. Now, there’s not a problem with having a girl crush on Kate Moss (did you see the photos of her doing the Louis Vuitton fashion show last week with a fag on? Google it if you haven’t) but it’s going against convention a tiny bit, and that’s where personal, guilty girl crushes come into the open.
HANNAH: I beg to differ actually! I think Kate Moss has every right to be in there, yes she does look a bit dirty, and granted she is a bit dirty (anyone seen photos of her snorting dubious substances and generally just looking like she hasn't washed in a week?!) but she is a model after all, so pop a bit of make-up on her and she's ready to go!
CHARLOTTE: I don't think she meant that kind of dirty Hannah...
HANNAH: Oh...erm...anyway! All the rest are just fairly...well...standard aren't they, just the type of crushes you'd expect to see in the list! Which is why it's quite refreshing when our guilty crushes are revealed.
CHARLOTTE: I don't think she meant that kind of dirty Hannah...
HANNAH: Oh...erm...anyway! All the rest are just fairly...well...standard aren't they, just the type of crushes you'd expect to see in the list! Which is why it's quite refreshing when our guilty crushes are revealed.
CHARLOTTE: Here’s some examples. We didn’t get this idea from Heat’s annual Guilty Crush Awards at all. Nope.
GUILTY CRUSHES
Florence
Guilty because:
CHARLOTTE: She doesn’t fit the ‘conventionally gorgeous’ stereotype that usually justifies a girl crush. She may be an amazing musician, but it can’t be denied, she does bear a striking resemblance to a certain ex-contestant of Take Me Out (I actually can't find a picture of her on Google, but you know who I mean...the one with the red hair...and the teeth...)
HANNAH: Florence is an obvious one here...she's ginger...joking! She actually has incredible hair. I would just like to clarify that red hair is my favourite and I'm definitely considering jumping on the 'Florence's fiery hair' bandwagon!
CHARLOTTE: She doesn’t fit the ‘conventionally gorgeous’ stereotype that usually justifies a girl crush. She may be an amazing musician, but it can’t be denied, she does bear a striking resemblance to a certain ex-contestant of Take Me Out (I actually can't find a picture of her on Google, but you know who I mean...the one with the red hair...and the teeth...)
HANNAH: Florence is an obvious one here...she's ginger...joking! She actually has incredible hair. I would just like to clarify that red hair is my favourite and I'm definitely considering jumping on the 'Florence's fiery hair' bandwagon!
Frankie (Lip Service)
Guilty because:
CHARLOTTE: For those of you who are familiar with the plot of Lip Service (basically, those of you who iPlayer-ed it due to intrigue) you’ll know why this crush is a bit wrong. This isn’t a hair/beauty/fashion envy crush, it is a genuine ‘I-would-if-I-was-drunk-enough’ situation. Frankie – confusing straight girls nationwide.
HANNAH: Oh God, I'm not entirely sure what I should say here...
CHARLOTTE: Try to retain some dignity...
HANNAH: Erm... she looks quite man-ish so maybe it's ok?!
CHARLOTTE: For those of you who are familiar with the plot of Lip Service (basically, those of you who iPlayer-ed it due to intrigue) you’ll know why this crush is a bit wrong. This isn’t a hair/beauty/fashion envy crush, it is a genuine ‘I-would-if-I-was-drunk-enough’ situation. Frankie – confusing straight girls nationwide.
HANNAH: Oh God, I'm not entirely sure what I should say here...
CHARLOTTE: Try to retain some dignity...
HANNAH: Erm... she looks quite man-ish so maybe it's ok?!
Nicole Scherzinger
Guilty because:
CHARLOTTE: On a similar line to the previous crush, you don’t exactly look at Nicole Scherzinger in this video and think, ‘Oooo she’s got eyes to die for’.
CHARLOTTE: On a similar line to the previous crush, you don’t exactly look at Nicole Scherzinger in this video and think, ‘Oooo she’s got eyes to die for’.
It’s more a case of ‘I didn’t notice she even had eyes’. One of my best friends actually wants to marry the woman. What concerns me even more is when Nicole pops up on the telly for some reason, even my Mum forgets what she’s saying and gets a bit flustered, only managing to come out with something along the lines of: “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life”. Well, the silver lining is atleast my Mum has good taste. Like mother like daughter…
Mila Kunis
Guilty because:
CHARLOTTE: No matter how many men you’ve been with, how much you’re in love with David Beckham and how many Christmasses you’ve been given the ‘Hollyoaks men’ calendar for, it’s quite hard to think about blokes when you watch 'that' scene in Black Swan. Those of you who haven't seen it won't know what I'm on about, but if I posted a video of it on here, we'd get our blog removed... VERY guilty.
HANNAH: Charlotte... Nicole Scherzinger and Mila Kunis are not guilty crushes! They're obvious choices surely?! They do look similar though so I would'nt be able to pick between the two..
CHARLOTTE: No matter how many men you’ve been with, how much you’re in love with David Beckham and how many Christmasses you’ve been given the ‘Hollyoaks men’ calendar for, it’s quite hard to think about blokes when you watch 'that' scene in Black Swan. Those of you who haven't seen it won't know what I'm on about, but if I posted a video of it on here, we'd get our blog removed... VERY guilty.
HANNAH: Charlotte... Nicole Scherzinger and Mila Kunis are not guilty crushes! They're obvious choices surely?! They do look similar though so I would'nt be able to pick between the two..
Helena Bonham Carter
Guilty because:
CHARLOTTE: Blatantly obvious reasons. But she is an absolute legend.
HANNAH: The Bonham-Carter! I can't be mean about her as I was quite harsh in the last blog...yes she is beautiful but Bellatrix Lestrange? No.
CHARLOTTE: Blatantly obvious reasons. But she is an absolute legend.
HANNAH: The Bonham-Carter! I can't be mean about her as I was quite harsh in the last blog...yes she is beautiful but Bellatrix Lestrange? No.
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