MUSIC: It wasn't like that in our day...

Somewhere in an old family album is a baby photo of me, with a pair of ridiculously oversized headphones on, being forced by my Dad to listen to a Pink Floyd album; I don’t have the photo to hand, but this is a good visual demonstration of the moment:

I’m sure I didn’t quite appreciate the lyrical genius of ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ at that innocent age, but what my Dad was trying to do was indoctrinate me with what he classed to be ‘good music’. He was obsessed with that band when he was younger, so he was passing it onto the next generation. Cut to present day, when only last week I overheard one of my friends, whilst listening to the radio, describe ‘My Humps’ by the Black Eyed Peas as ‘a classic’. A classic. I’ll be honest, I’m slightly horrified that a song containing the phrase ‘my lovely lady lumps’ has gained a status like that. This got me thinking (my first blog post and I’m already sounding like Carrie Bradshaw), what music will we want to pass onto our children?

Will we ever utter the words, as parents, “The music you listen to is just noise, back in the day we had I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry. You have no idea what good music is.” Alternately, is it the case that we’ll never be able to say something along those lines because we, as a generation, just don’t have anything worth passing on?

Let’s face it, the closest thing we have to The Beatles today is JLS. Forget Diana Ross and The Supremes, we’ve got The Saturdays belting out another generic pop song. Even if you told the new generation about someone seemingly worthwhile like Beyoncé, ultimately, a brief search on Google would reveal to the uneducated that she came from a band who spawned the lyric –

And that’s nothing to boast about…

If I go through the C.Ds, cassettes even, that I owned in the 90’s, there is not a. single. one that I’d be comfortable with showing off. My first ‘album’ was The Smurf’s Christmas Party – enough said. The music seemed quite good at the time didn’t it? But looking back?

Granted, I’m only talking about cheesy pop music here for emphasis. However, besides that, all our era really has to its name is RnB, dance music and dubstep, none of which is going to wash on the afternoon Radio 2 show in 2030. When Fearne Cotton is 50 and she moves to Chris Evans’ slot, she is never going to say, “And here’s one that’ll take you back, the dulcet tones of Heartbeat by Nneka, the Chase & Status Remix’. (Even if it is one of my favourite songs of all time).

To remain immortal, artists need to be unique, have a sound that is timeless, and lyrics that make still make sense 10, 20, 30 years on; all of the above is why I’ve got The Eurythmics Greatest Hits on my iPod for a laugh. The only band I can think of post-me-being-born that fulfil those criteria is the Prodigy. But here we go again, I can’t quite force my own 18-month-old to listen to ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ to satisfy my nostalgia.

At some point, I'll have to abandon the upbeat songs of my youth anyway. Unless I want to end up looking like this:

While we’re on the topic, at the moment the tradition seems to be our parents being disgusted at some of the ‘filth’ we listen to, with all the swearing and the references to violence and the sexually explicit lyrics. But I have a feeling the roles may reverse. Trust me, it is no longer going to be us, as parents, who are going to judge our kids; it’s going to be our kids judging us when we whip out a vintage Rihanna album to play on the school run and start singing, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me.” No one wants to hear their Mum say that. Ever.

The problem we have, as late 80’s/early 90’s children, is we came into the world at a time when music became less about expression and more about commercialism. I could go into a great big debate about this, but I’ll just sum it up – it was Simon Cowell’s fault. As much as I loved Pop Idol then, and The X Factor now (believe me, this blog will go nuts for it from August), reality shows really have destroyed music in an undeniable way. 

Music has no agenda anymore, no subtext, no passion. The Sex Pistols made music to rebel against the Government and fight for anarchy, Queen were at the Live Aid 1985 concert to fight against poverty. What is our music fighting for now? Well, Cheryl Cole was fight, fight, fight, fight, fighting for love apparently. With a sleazy overpaid footballer who wore horrible pants according to the Daily Star. Depressing isn’t it?

I know that there will be bands or artists you personally like which you will want to tell your children about. My favourite genre of music is mid-90’s trance/dance, and I will be forcing my hypothetical offspring to listen to various ‘Cream Ibiza’ albums to genuinely show them when I thought ‘music was good’. This is subjective though. There’s also a good chance I’ll still be requesting ‘Something Kinda Oooh’ by Girls Aloud at weddings when I’m 45, but that might not be to everyone else’s taste.

My main concern is we don’t have an Elvis, we don’t have a Madonna. Where is our legend? We need to be able to talk about someone as if they were a sensation, a phenomenon. Someone that 16 year olds in 2030 will put posters of on their bedroom walls. Someone who’s face they will want on a t-shirt to look edgy.  We need the equivalent of this bloke:

Then again…

She’s the one isn’t she?

Lady GaGa will be the person we talk about when we’re 40. Misty eyed, we’ll reflect, and tell the younger generation that those were the days when music was different and not just made for mass appeal. When popstars were unique, when artists fought for something. Regarding her legendary latest single, the best gay anthem we’ve had since ‘I’m Coming Out’, the woman herself (or realistically, one of her servants) posted a Facebook status yesterday saying 

“The point, with "Born This Way," is to fight for something that not everyone believes in. To overcome adversity with a message.” 

There you go you see. If you haven’t seen that new video yet by the way, you can watch it here:http://www.mtv.co.uk/artists/lady-gaga?gclid=CJrS7ryix6cCFYFB4QodyGRvBg  It’ll blow your mind. 


Music used to be exciting, we’ll tell the new teenagers - our parents were there when Elvis died and the world stood still, we were there when Lady Gaga wore a dress made of meat to the MTV awards. 

Then the next year she had a kip in a giant egg for three hours before performing at the Grammy’s. We were there.

However, it’s not just the fact that she’s beautifully crackers that makes her the icon of our time – it’s her music. Rarely can someone release single after single that isn’t just ‘good’ but ‘amazing’. Her CV consists of 'Just Dance', 'Poker Face', and 'Bad Romance'. You can’t argue with that. 'Telephone' will become a true classic because of the video alone – she’s got Diet Coke cans in her hair for God’s sake…

It’s not just her singles that have been good; whereas other artists today would have albums full of ‘filler’ (you know what I mean), literally ALL of the GaGa’s songs are perfect. Have you heard ‘Teeth’ from her second album? No? Well, you should have done… 

On the phone the other day, I had this exact discussion with one of my friends from home – do we have a musical legend of our time? Instinctively she said Lady Gaga, describing her as 

‘One of a kind... She does what she wants, doesn’t care what anyone else thinks, and I love her. All power to her!’ 

 That sums it up in my opinion!


And if Lady Gaga the female popstar isn't enough for you, she's also got a male alter ego. If you didn't know about Jo Calderone before, here he is making his debut on the cover of Japanese Vogue in September of last year:

I'm not messing around with you - that is genuinely Lady Gaga in drag! It's things like that highlight her unique selling point: she constantly defies our expectations.

So that's that sorted then - Lady Gaga is our noughties legend...I’m personally looking forward to the Lady Gaga reunion tour, when she’s 75 years old, plays the o2 arena for one last time, and comes out wearing a bonnet with a lobster on it, pulling along a tartan shopping trolley made of cheese. 

Lady GaGa - you're our Elvis, our Bowie, our Madonna, all rolled into one. And we love you!